Tuesday, September 23, 2008

Secrets of Sexually Satisfied Wives

September 20th, 2008 by Laura M. Brotherson

Women have incredible sexual potential. Female sexuality has traditionally been minimized, but for the benefit of one’s wholeness, and for the strength of one’s marriage, an awakening of one’s sexuality within marriage becomes vital.
Sexual satisfaction may seem unimportant to the wife who has not yet made it a priority. Nevertheless, sexual development in marriage goes to the heart of one’s wholeness and personal development. It ultimately allows for the ecstasy of mutual enjoyment in marriage. This is God’s intended gift.
In order to empower women to reap the blessings of sexual wholeness and marital oneness, we must know what it is we are working toward. What are the secrets of sexually satisfied wives? If it is our intention to become sexually whole in our marriages, what are the characteristics of a sexually satisfied wife that we too can develop?
Embraces sexuality. The sexually satisfied wife embraces and takes responsibility for her sexuality. She makes it a priority. She sees her sexuality as good and important not only for her marriage, but also as an important part of her beingness. She has learned to find pleasure in the physicalness of the sexual dimension of marriage.
Nurtures the relationship. She nurtures the relationship with her spouse, and willingly addresses issues as they arise, so that they don’t grow and fester. She understands that how connected she feels emotionally towards her spouse affects how she feels sexually. She does what she needs to to nurture feelings of love and friendship.
Overcomes inhibitions. She works to overcome the inhibiting beliefs and barriers that may keep her from enjoying the sexual relationship with her husband. She works to reprogram those thoughts and beliefs that are counterproductive to feelings of emotional connection and sexual arousal.
Nurtures sexual feelings. She makes it a priority to nurture sexual thoughts and feelings towards her spouse. She understands that with her unique wiring, sexual feelings and desires are more consciously acquired.
Sexually educated. She willingly takes an active role in getting educated about this dimension of marriage. She understands and accepts the differences in sexual wiring between herself and her husband, as well as the differing paths to arousal each may experience.
Makes peace with her body. Sexually satisfied wives make peace with their body and appearance, but also do what they can to look their best. They put effort into their health and appearance through exercise, eating healthly, getting enough sleep, and dressing attractively. They make the best of what they have. They also accept that there are some things they can’t change about their appearance, and have learned to be okay with it.
Is fun and playful. The sexually satisfied wife maintains an element of fun and playfulness in the relationship. Even amidst the demands of life, she makes the effort to tease and be playful with her husband. They know each other well, and enjoy each other’s presence.
Knows what she needs. She spends time learning and practicing together with her husband until they have identified what turns her on, and what kind of stimulation she needs to regularly experience orgasm.
Communicates. She’s learned to communicate with her husband without being reactive, so that delicate subjects such as sex can be discussed. She’s willing to ask questions and shares personal preferences to help her husband learn how to sexually engage and excite her.
Likes to touch. She likes to touch. Sexually satisfied wives see to it that there is plenty of touching going on in their marriage. She takes responsibility, if need be, to see that there is enough non-sexual touch and affection outside the bedroom as well as within.
Surrenders to the passion. She’s learned how to relax and let go within lovemaking. She is willing and able to surrender to the all-encompassing experience of sexual pleasure, and is in tune with her sensuousness. While it may seem paradoxical, the sexually satisfied wife not only surrenders herself to the sensual experience, but she also actively engages in experiencing and expressing her passion.
Takes responsibility for self. The sexually satisfied wife takes responsibility for her happiness and well-being, and keeps her focus on things she can do to improve the marriage and sexual relationship. She knows that how she feels about herself affects how she feels sexually. She is regularly working on aspects of herself that she’d like to change, which keeps her from getting caught up in trying to change her spouse.
These secrets of sexually satisfied wives can show us how we too can be empowered to experience and enjoy sexual wholeness and the sexual potential God created in marriage.
Laura M. Brotherson is the author of a groundbreaking book on sexual intimacy and marital oneness entitled, And They Were Not Ashamed—Strengthening Marriage through Sexual Fulfillment. Laura shares her passion for building strong marriages and families as an author, intimacy educator and relationship consultant.
Visit her website www.StrengtheningMarriage.com to learn more and to sign up for her “Straight Talk about Strengthening Marriage” newsletter. StrengtheningMarriage.com is your trusted resource for education, products and services to strengthen marriages intimately!

Poll shows gap between blacks and whites over racial discrimination

Actually this article is pretty good. I think it is news worthy...the title could be distracting or overly generic..but the meat of the article is worth reading.

If you click on this title, you will leave my blog...but one back click and you are back to my frivelous rantings ;) lol

Sunday, September 14, 2008

Alright I got tagged...here we go...tagging is as follows below...

Tag Game- List 5 joys, 5 fears, 5 obsessions/collections, and 5 surprising facts, then tag 5 people.

1. kids potty training..lol
2. USC beat Ohio State! Angels won their division, Dodgers in 1st place!
3. Finishing my degree!
4. taking my kids places they hadn't gone..like the beach...that was cool!
5. changing jobs next year...not sure what yet...

Fears -
1. fear of falling thus ladders/HIGH roller coasters/roofs but not ordinarily planes (heights)
2. not raising my kids correctly, in the eyes of others...
3. losing money on the house/losing home in quake
4. Bankruptcy/credit damage
5. Divorce

Current Obsessions
1. School (I swear I WILL GRADUATE by the time I am 35 lol)
2. Work
3. My kids
4. college football particularly USC/U of U
5. music...i am not sorry.. this will never die...it is my peace and quiet

Surprising Facts
1. I LOVE CA more than ut
2. I have a cousins younger than me with better degrees lol
3. People in my work think I'm over 40
4. Owning a home is not as easy as it looks
5. Provided I put in 20 yrs of military time, my kids schooling is paid for in CA!

Thursday, September 11, 2008

What does 9/11 mean to you? Where were you when it occurred?

I remember that I had just dropped off Bell at school and was driving on 7th East in SLC and I was listening to 107.5 (The End) when it came over the radio that the 1st tower had come down. I was in shock...as were most drivers...by the way that they were driving, rather rudementary from time to time. It was a very somber and sobering moment that will forever change how we look at life itself and where our futures will go.

I was already in the process of joining the US Coast Guard at the time. I remember that when I went to work at Jordon Commons in Sandy, my boss (Mr. Joos)asked me if I was sure I still wanted to go. I am putting his name out there, because it was very typical of who he is as a person. That said, most people at my work were very supportive of my new opportunity to serve my country. I remember watching the horror on the big screen and my stomach churned as much as everyone else's. I remember the hurt that I felt and the lack of understanding but since there were attacks on that building in 1993, I guess there was a very disgusting feeling of closure. They finally achieved and not just once, but twice on our country. It was very offensive and painful to deal with. I, in fact, could not be any more proud of my decision to join the military. I would do it all over again without flinching.

In the months following, nothing else mattered. You could not see a car go by that did not have a decal. Everyone was as nice to each other as I have ever seen in my life. People simply respected one another. The richest and poorest Americans would never even consider treating each other with less than the greatest respect. it is a shame that now, we need the olympics and this war for us to feel any patriotism as an overall country. I saw today on CNN that the threat for another attack is under 35%...that creates more fear in me than a lot of things. I think that is proof that we have indeed forgotten 9-11. It is always when we expect it the least that these moments occur. I am grateful that we have not had to deal with it, but I am always distrusting and leary of gaining any sense of confidence against terrorists as they are very untrusting and volatile people who can go off at any time. I hope that we will NOT forget 9-11. I do not think we need to create a sense of resentment towards those of the same religion who fear Al Qaeda as much as we do. I think they too have the same feelings that we do, for the most part. Iraq has lost 3 times as many people as we have and I am sure that they are capable of seeing how extremism is simply what it is.

During basic training, the Anthrax scares occurred and that was troubling as well. When I was in San Francisco at Golden Gate, many people looked at that unit as a station vacation. Nothing could be further from the truth. That is a very very busy small boat station that should be lauded for all that it has to deal with on a daily basis. Their efforts are often underappreciated and underestimated. I received only the best training when I was there. Watchstanding included taking care of the bridge itself. There was a HUGE sense of pride and I look at that time as a huge growing opportunity for me. I grew more as a seaman in San Fran and as a newlywed than at any other time of my life. The threat of terrorism was at its highest and the fact that we worked around the clock to save people, took care of the bridge and kept the station looking its best was a pleasing way to serve our vulnerable and victimized country at that time.

Now years later, I find myself here in the Bay Area where I feel many times we have truly forgotten 9-11. I am taking classes in domestic and international terrorism and I have been learning this as training for my job. Now, I am a Yeoman. We are not known for being in counter-terrorism. We are best known as Human Resource Specialists. I am first a member of the military, I am second a YN. I will do whatever I am asked to do and if my knowledge in the matter can be of assistance to any unit, detachment or operation of the Coast Guard, I will offer my services where I can.

I am grateful for my opportunity to serve my country and I will never forget 9-11. I will never regret serving my country and I will never look back, only forward!

Semper Paratus!

Wednesday, September 10, 2008

Ladies explain this: Dress Barn? Sag Harbor? Paper Doll? Roseanne's? Trashy Diva?Hot F(l)ash?

How is it that women go to the Dress Barn....women YEARN to not be compared to a cow, yet, they go to this store that is coincidently called "dress barn". How is it that this works out? And inside this "barn" we're looking at labels like Sag Harbor? Like women need a constant reminder that their breasts are sagging? I am pretty sure that is the LAST reminder they need.If Sag Harbor isn't enough, let's go with Hot F(l)ash...because every woman wants to think about menopause as they are buying their clothes...let's move on...heaven forbid I dwell on that one..let's go to the MAJOR female killer...Paper Doll...LOVELY!..women are all pissed prudes and are victimized due to their men watching porn...oh hey, guess what I bought at the barn?? I got these paper doll skirts...very nice! Now, if we want to get away from the filth, we need not move too far because the BETTER clothing label is Trashy Diva...which is much better than the infamous Roseanne's....because every woman wants to be reminded of Roseanne Barr as they are buying clothes.

So there you have it...it makes NO SENSE at all...but it is what it is...

but excuse me if I do not follow the rest of the men into Limp Johnson's apparel...or Beerbelly Bar or any other place that reminds a man of his inadequacies...but if it works for you...who am I???

Monday, September 08, 2008


We are finding weevils IN the cereals...it's gross and I think it is MORE widespread than people are willing to either admit or complain about...or even worse, it is going unnoticed and we're all eating these things!!!

take the time and COMPLAIN to your supermarkets...the only way we force quality control is to mandate it ourselves!

Thursday, September 04, 2008

Here are some fun signs in this country!

Here are some fun signs in this country! part TWO

this park is in Rexburg, ID...you can't make this stuff up...

plese KNOW that this is NO reference to Katrina. I recieved this picture as a gaffe about the Coast Guard and it in no way refers to Katrina since I received it before 2005.

Tuesday, September 02, 2008

Why I changed my party affiliation

I am proud to be a democrat. This did not occur overnight, it was in fact, very difficult to decide. I had to decide within myself where I felt that I was. MY change had little to do with the present election or any President of either party. I cannot honestly tell you that it DIDN'T get some help from a few politicians in each direction, but that was not the deciding factor. I started to understand a lot of the consequences from the actions taken. I started to understand what the ramifications were of the bills and propositions that were being passed and how I was voting for them. I started to see how the Republicans stopped becoming themselves and lauded President Reagan as if he were a God. I respected President Reagan, but if I am to be successful in the military, I will be successful as a Winter and NOT as a Reagan surrogate. I need to make the most of my life through the family that my God gave me regardless if they feel the same way that I do, or whether they believe the same way that I do. We agree to disagree and we know that there are beliefs that we will not see the same way, and we have no desire to change that.

I was not always a Democrat and I was consistent in my beliefs. I was NOT aware that I was consistently wrong and uneducated about what I was voting for. That is no reflection of my parents. My parents were taught in the ways of their parents and they too see and have differences between their parenting styles and personal beliefs. It isn't right or wrong, it is simply different. It is a difference we learn to respect and leave it at that.

I was not understanding the whole picture. I did not see with my own eyes. I saw what people wanted me to see. I appeased people and told them what they wanted to hear. I had to learn the hard way to be true to who I am. I have made several problems for myself because of this both small and large and it has affected relationships, my marriage, my schooling, my mental and emotional growth. It has affected me in every facet of my life.

It took a person to show me that there are politicians who are willing to tell me what I did NOT want to hear. I did NOT convert solely for and because of Barack Obama. I was already leaning that way for the last 10 years. The more that I was able to see a new paradigm, the more I understood that dichotomy between the Repulican and Democratic parties and I understood more of what I hadn't before.

This may be a bit strong for evangelicals to accept. But those who are LDS may see how I have come to this change in my life.

D&C 29:36
36 And it came to pass that Adam, being tempted of the devil—for, behold, the devil was before Adam, for he rebelled against me, saying, Give me thine honor, which is my power; and also a third part of the ghosts of heaven turned he away from me because of their agency;

If you click on the title of this post, you will read an article regarding the plan of salvation and how our free agency is applied and how it came to be.

If we are to be more like Christ, we should want to understand his thought process. We are NEVER going to know as much as he does. We may never be remotely close to following his will in all that we do. He gave us free agency and we can choose of our own free will whether we choose to return to God's presence. The most obedient would go to Heaven and the glory would be unto God.

Satan’s plan of compulsion, whereby all would be safely conducted through the career of mortality, bereft of freedom to act and agency to choose, so circumscribed that they would be compelled to do right—that one soul would not be lost—was rejected; and the humble offer of Jesus the First-born—to assume mortality and live among men as their Exemplar and Teacher, observing the sanctity of man’s agency but teaching men to use aright that divine heritage—was accepted. The decision brought war, which resulted in the vanquishment of Satan and his angels, who were cast out and deprived of the boundless privileges incident to the mortal or second estate.

So what does this have to do with my desire to be democrat? It has EVERYTHING to do with that. When people commit abortions, when gays choose to get married, when we go to war and when people die of drugs, it all relied on our ability to handle things ourselves. Christ does not enjoy seeing the rampant crime that is being done. But he has to suffer it to be. It is the process of free agency. When we force people to follow what is right, we are following the Adversary's plan REGARDLESS of how correct they are or how they feel.

With the LDS Church insisting that marriage is solely heterosexual and they get very close to the lines between church and state by making phone calls and visits, they are uniting with those to make marriage solely for heterosexuals. In so doing, the LDS Church here in California is forcing compulsion in this matter to the extent that everyone in California, regardless of whether they are LDS or not, are now in accordance with LDS rules which dictate that marriage is ONLY for man and woman.

IF this happens, we are being forced to do what is right according to LDS faith and their rules. "We" is not JUST members of the LDS faith or the population of California, but we as in every person from San Francisco, CA to Bangor, ME. We are being taught that we MUST do what is right. Our free agency is no longer ours. While I appreciate the zeal of those in the LDS Church and the republican party who feel they need to enforce what is right as a statewide law. I am an (in)active LDS member who goes through the motions, there are somethings that simply do not work. This is one of those things.

I am not pro abortion or pro life. I am for free agency. That woman needs to make a choice and they must live with the consequences of that choice. If she decides to have sex, she needs to decide whether she will keep that child. She must also decide quickly because the longer she waits, her indecision becomes her decision. "You can choose a ready guide/In some celestial voice/If you choose not to decide/You still have made a choice" -Neil Pert (Freewill, Rush)
the more her free agency challenges and impacts the free agency of that fetus. As long as that fetus has a heartbeat, it also has its own free agency to consider.

If we could personify the fetus, who is to say that fetus would WANT to be a child to the mother whose more loose than a slot machine in Vegas? She has no job, she has 15 more credits in high school to go, she has no man by her side, she smokes or drinks...is that something a fetus would voluntarily want to be born into? I doubt it. But she has to make that choice and she has to consider the best future for that fetus and be aware that THAT future may not include her. God, Christ, you and I all have to accept that she may or may not make the decision we would like her to make. It is what is part of free agency. If we force her to have kids, she may be a horrible mother, she may not...but the odds are not on her side. She still has no capability of paying the bills that will come her way and may not have anyone to really help her. We assume that people will step up and help. We NEED to stop doing that. It is NOT a guarantee, it is a blessing when it DOES happen. She may not have the resources or the money to take care of that child...She may do the right thing and have the child adopted. It is a choice she has to make.

I am not for or against guns. I am for gun safety and security checks because too much is at stake in regards of guns. We should have the responsibility to be able take care of guns in every way, because it is the person behind the gun that dictates the free agency of others if used errantly. I feel that we need to make the right choices in our lives in a self compelled way and we ought to do it of our own free will and NOT being forced into doing what is right. We are incapable of choosing the consequences, but if we deny ourselves from even having the right to choose, then the choice is already made for us as is the consequence. We do not have any input on either.

Gay people deserve to be happy. They make decisions that we disagree with, but if we force them to follow what WE feel is right, they are compulsed to do what is right according to a state law and a religious commandment that they do not agree with or believe in. It is about free agency. WE may not agree with free agency or gay marriage, but to keep the integrity of the free agency that Christ has offered us, we have to accept and maintain free agency for all people so that Christ's free agency gift is not compromised. The moment that we force people to do what WE want them to do, we have compromised their free agency. At that point, how are we any better than Che Guevara or Fidel Castro?